you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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