she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
