If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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