How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
