omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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