oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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