Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
