My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
