I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
