She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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