I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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