garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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