I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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