There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize