I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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