I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
