there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
