WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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