Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
