Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
