I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
