people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
