I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
