You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
