So drunk its hurt
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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