remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
