I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
