thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
