What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
