my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
