the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
