Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
