you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
