Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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