My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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