Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
