is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
