just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
