a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
