2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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