Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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