how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
