Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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