my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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