Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.

(1-707): View more from California

Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

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(269): View more from Michigan

i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?

(303): View more from Colorado

He told her it was international road head day.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?

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(440): View more from Ohio

The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.

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(805): View more from California

Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.

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