i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
