drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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