if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i've created a new STD.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
