I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
