we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
