I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
