Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
