This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We are all done wearing pants today
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
