There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
