Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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