can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
