i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
