I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
