I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
