I can text with my tongue
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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