Michael Bay diarrhea
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Panties = found
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
